A Man in a Woman's World

 I am a man in a woman's world. I am a teacher. I am certified to teach grades K through 12. I am male. This puts me in a minority. Information from a quick google search shows what any male teacher could have told you. In 2011, 42% of secondary and 18.3% of middle/elementary teachers are male. I would imagine that these numbers are a surprise to no one. If they are, allow me to lend some anecdotal evidence to explain why.

 During  a discussion I recently had with friends, I was contemplating the possibility switching from middle and secondary to elementary. One person quipped that he never trusted any male that taught elementary going on to imply the creepiness that goes along with a man willing to teach children of such a young age. Another three people chimed in and gave specific examples of why. I myself was one of them, citing my fourth grade teacher who my mother confessed to me later in life that she never trusted. We mused whether it was true that males lacked the sensibilities that were necessary to be an excellent elementary teacher.

During college, while training to become a teacher, I often found myself to be one of a few males in a class of females. Indeed, I once had a class that focused on differentiated instruction for the integrated classroom where I was the sole male in a lecture of 120. During  a discussion in the lecture for that class the subject of mandated reporting came up. I grew up in a foster home (my parents ran it, I was not a foster child) so the subject had a very important meaning to me. I was very familiar with the meaning of mandated reporting and have very strong feelings about it. As the professor explained what it meant to be a mandated reporter some students began to challenge her, saying that we, as teachers, need to have the feelings of parents and guardians in mind when we do such things. My immediate reaction was to sit up straight and pay close attention. Perhaps I had missed something, but my understanding was the point of mandated reporting laws, at this point effective in all 50 states, were in place so that we did not have to consider the feelings of parents and guardians, we only had to consider the welfare of the child.  When this girl finished her thought the professor bobbed back and forth and said, "That's not really true."

The girl began to interject, "But..." and I cut her off. In five weeks I had sat in front of this lecture, near the exit and not said a word. My words came, because of my emotional attachment to the issue, unhindered by my uneasiness of being outnumber 120 to 1. "It does not matter if you have the mildest inkling of a thought of a suspicion. It is your duty to protect the child and nothing else. Let me tell you that the only disservice you do by reporting a suspicion is a possible awkward conversation between parents and a counselor. The disservice you do to the child by not reporting can be life-ruining and/or -threatening." The response I received stopped me in my tracks. A different girl said, "but, you're a man! How are you expecting to understand the emotional complexities of children?" (It should be said that the professor for this class immediately jumped on the girl and put her in her place most deftly.)

Really! Really! She said that to me (or something along those lines...it was a decade ago). Because I am a man I am both creepy, ie untrustworthy, and unable to understand the emotional complexities of children. The implication being that I am incapable of showing compassion, but if I show compassion, there might be something funny about me. I cannot win. That day i stopped trying to win and just tried to do the best I could. Truthfully, when that is the attitude, why would any male want to become a teacher.

This has been an issue that I have been able to bond with my wife over. My exhaustive research (first hit on google) shows that the majority of mathematicians are men. One only needs to take a cursory look at graduate programs to see that research positions are taken predominantly by males as well. I do understand that these issues owe much to the historical chauvinism in the sciences and that cannot be recovered overnight. That is not my point. My point is that mathematics is, at times, a man's world. The majority of the friends I have made in the math community are men because they are who are there. I have heard in a number of conversations from people I like and trust, and people I dislike and distrust, such as "this area is really what men do and that area is what women do," or, "I don't really know that women will be able to achieve such and such."  These are MINORITY opinions, mind you, but still, one hears them.

However, I am not here to make the argument for women in math. I am not here to make the argument for men in education either. I am here to talk about my relationships with mathematicians.  So here it is. This was the day that I knew I was stuck.

If at all possible, academics will attach food to any occasion just like most people do. Thus, when a speaker is invited to town a meal is planned at a local establishment. Spouses are sometimes welcome and I have had the occasion to go to a few of these meals. I spent a long time sitting across from an elderly professor who told me of his history in education and academia. A series of funny anecdotes that anyone in any field would find entertaining and engaging. Somewhere around the middle of the meal, as often (always) happens at table of mathematicians in a social situation, the conversations turns to math. I do not have a problem with this even though the level of the subject matter being discussed makes the conversation exclusionary to me. My wife gets overly excited and slightly emotional (not in a crying way though, it's more of an intensity where she occasionally flutters her hands in a spastic manner). Tempers flare, people laugh, get angry, chide, tease, etc. and I begin to zone out and go to my happy place.

I am used to this. I do find it mildly entertaining. Sometimes they look to me and explain something to catch me up and I nod and say something that gives the impression 'Well yes, I have a full understanding of multivariable calculus and really do appreciate your attention to me as I only needed that little tidbit containing meaningless-to-me words to jump on in and bestow upon you my opinion of the possibilities involved in this invariant that you have talked about all day and are going to try and sum up with a napkin-shaker-green bean explanation that you don't see as condescension.'

I would have stayed contemplating the timing of my next oil change had I not glanced across that table at the professor with whom I was speaking earlier. He grabbed my attention with one of those come hither NOW grunts that are discouraged when heard from young children, considered rude from an adult, but endearing from the elderly. He had obviously been contemplating my new found interest in the glassware hanging from the rafters over the bar. He leant in and grunted again to start his thought, "Ya' know, in my day, you would have been the woman," and turned to the conversation to tell everyone why they were wrong. He said this with no indignation and no malice. He just wanted me to know that I am a man in... what was previously... a woman's world.